Kicking Perfectionism to the Curb
Perfectionism became my fuel and it always left me on empty.
When I was in my 30s I loved to throw parties.
🍽Fancy dinner parties for friends.
🐠Elaborate birthdays for the kids that included a fish cake with intricate scales created with Neko wafers.
Back then Martha Stewart was the purveyor of taste and there are no ‘hacks’ to anything.
Creating meaningful and beautiful experiences for others felt like my zone of genius and also fed my need for validation, which is lacking when raising small kids.
BUT
I was driven by perfectionism. I went above and beyond what was necessary AND I made things harder on myself than needed. Instead of staying focused on my values of creativity and connection, it became more like a competitive sport.
I would beat myself up if it didn’t match my vision perfectly.
I would end up cranky and exhausted.
The cost to my family was greater than the benefit
When I returned to work, I just let it all go.
Recently life has changed. 3 kids have flown the nest, and I have my own business where there is more flexibility with my time.
A few weeks ago I got the urge to throw a fall-themed party for a few couples.
With new self-awareness, I felt It was time to see if could manage my perfectionism and stay grounded in my intention to nurture more connection and honor my creativity.
Instead of being driven by a narrow idea of what it had to look/be like I embraced the experience of flow. I allowed the details to come together instead of being prescriptive.
When Michaels didn’t have the needed supplies to make a fall wreath I pivoted, went to the flower store, and bought winter plants to spruce up my pots.
A new friend suggested a mushroom lasagna recipe. Done.
Trader Joe’s provided dessert.
I had time on Saturday afternoon, to arrange the flowers, set a beautiful table, spruce up the house, light candles. It felt magical.
By staying grounded in ease and creativity create, not perfectionism, I remained energized and able to share my joy with others.
Are you a perfectionist? Does it derail you at times?
