The Ups And Downs Of Being A Bossyboots
I have always been a bit of a bossyboots.
I am the oldest with 3 younger brothers, so from the beginning giving direction came easy to me.
I kind of like being a bossyboots.
But it has its negatives because a bossyboots can quickly morph into a control freak.
And my control freak is super sneaky because she shows up trying to be ‘help’ or ‘fix’ the issue at hand.
One of my favorites, @annelamott says “ Help is the sunny side of control.”
I used to be very concerned and focused on everyone else’s issues, which is common when raising small children but can be dangerous for all.
When mom is constantly trying to protect and control
Kids don’t have the opportunity to learn how to navigate challenges
Spouses end up resentful
Moms end up exhausted and overwhelmed
We work so hard to try to ensure the safety and happiness of ourselves and our loved ones.
Yet, deep inside we know the truth, the human experience is fraught with vulnerability, and this gap keeps us in constant anxiety.
And it’s a vicious circle because the more anxious we feel the harder we tighten our grip on the illusion of control.
I’m permitting you to let go.
The antidote to our need to control is radical self-care.
Take a breath.
Shower yourself and your people with compassion.
Take a walk.
Hug someone.
Seek out awe and wonder.
And instead of trying to manage everyone else, make a commitment to manage and love yourself.
Know your boundaries.
Ask for what you need.
Prioritize yourself.
Use that bossyboots nature to lead the way instead of trying to control it.
